3/16/2010

Infomercial (and Other) Cure-alls

 Guess what folks, your troubles are now over!   A new drink has been invented, which gets rid of all those nasty pains in your body (that is if you are old enough to have any).  I kid you not.  It is called Nopuloser.  You may have heard of this miracle potion. So yes, absolutely all aches and pains can be HISTORY.   Shout Amen here!  And, not just pains, also diabetes, allergies, snot, cardiovascular problems, skin diseases, respiratory ailments, Alzheimer's, and housework.  Because you will be feeling soooo much better, who would expect you to waste precious time cleaning toilets?  Not anyone.

Do you ever find yourself sitting in a relaxed, semi-comatose state, perhaps after scrubbing those toilets, staring at the TV, and watching an infomercial?  Just because it's there. Then you know what I'm talking about.  A nice lady looks right out at you, very sincerely, extolling the virtues of whatever it is, and you  find yourself reaching for the phone.  Yes, and that is how "they" can afford those expensive commercials.  Air time is not cheap, lovey.  That particular one is still going on and on, with countless testimonies.

As I type, Bob is talking about ordering the first bottle, which is said to be free.  Well $10., but that is just for shipping and handling.   I suppose you'd be hooked after a first dose, and get right on their regular delivery list at $45 a pop??  Do you suppose the mad chemist put some secret addictive drug in there?  But, you won't know for sure if it's actually working until two bottles.  One is only a two week supply.  You have to take it for at least a month. I know all this because, yes, he's gone and done it - ordered two, and that is what he was told. As well as, "I want more for you than you do for yourself.  I don't want you to run out after a month.  I can give you a 5 bottle deal at a discount.......(Bob is silent here) ...how about a 3 bottle deal?"  Apparently, there is a lady out there who buys it by the skipload, drinks a bottle a day.  She likes it so much.  I guess that is better than a whiskey bottle a day habit.  Good, in fact, diverting money from the wicked liquor distillers of the world.

I wouldn't want you to think he is the only one around here listening to infomercials.  I get sort of sucked in by the nifty kitchen gadgets.  Will be reporting more on the potion phenom later.  After the trial period.  Maybe even before.

2 comments:

Lisa Michelle said...

I got sucked in by this Hydro something under eye cream that claimed a RISK FREE TRIAL..so I ordered the FREE TRIAL (this is how they fool you late night) and was horrified when they told me they were charging my credit card like 100 bucks per for my 2 'free' eye creams. It took a lot of yelling to get out of that one. RISK FREE..yep, they fooled me and for an eye cream probably made up of benign but useless/worthless junk..LOL

Claudia said...

I hate that sort of "marketing". Actually, they probably charge the "shipping/handling" fee mainly to get your credit card #. Hope Bob doesn't have your experience.